Sorry for the extended absence. I've been in a bit of a funk lately, and I don't know if this is a cause or a symptom of my writers' block. So in the absence of anything even remotely entertaining to submit, I shall instead put forward a complaint:
Toilet paper should be installed with the end hanging from the top of the roll, not the bottom, unless you have a cat, or a small child, or both.
Anyone who believes otherwise is a savage.