4.02.2007

Test anxiety

Four months ago, a routine doctor's visit, a routine test, followed by the routine 'we'll send you the results in two weeks'. And the two weeks go by, and nothing. Did I miss the e-mail, did my answering machine go wonky? But hey, no news is good news, right?

Week three, there's the e-mail 'Results abnormal. Please schedule a follow-up appointment in three months.'

Abnormal? What does that mean? Is it minor? Is it serious? So I wonder, then I worry, then I scour the Internet. As they say - six of one, half a dozen of the other. For every article I read that scares me, there is another that eases my mind. But still, I worry, because I'm really good at it. And I ask a close friend. "Abnormal?" she says "No reason to panic. I've had those before!" And she goes on to say that they have to do X and they have to do Y, and then you're fine. No reason to worry. So I worry a little less each day. Things become all blurry in my head, and they stay that way for three months.

Then there is the reminder letter, and I schedule an appointment, and I wait, and I worry. And my appointment is cancelled due to an emergency. Doctors have emergencies all the time, you know.

So I make another appointment. And I wait, and I worry. And tomorrow, I will see the doctor, and he will perform the test, and in two weeks I will get an e-mail saying everything is normal, and I have nothing to worry about. And I will go on with the routine business of life. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.
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