cooking in my underwear

I roll over, and put my arm around him. I kiss the back of his neck. He reaches behind him, and while scratching his butt, he issues a phlegmy grunt. "That's romantic" I mumble. He crawls out of bed and shuffles to the bathroom singing "That's life... that's what all the people say.." And while I chuckle into my pillow, more grunting and hacking is coming through the bathroom door. He shuffles back to bed and curls up beside me, smelling of Vicks VapoRub, and within seconds, I hear him softly snoring. I put my arm around him. I kiss the back of his neck. That's life.

Happy Bastille Day Aaah, le merguez frite et le petanque et le soleil et le vin

Office messenger : I hope I can make it home before the rain tonight. Office moron #1: It's gonna rain? Oh my God! Me: How is it that you're always surprised when you hear that it's gonna rain? Don't you check the weather forecast in the morning? They said it was gonna rain. Office moron #1: I know they said there would be rain. I just didn't think it would really rain. Me (internal dialog): Yes, of course. Those meteorologists have absolutely no idea what they're talking about, so they just make up some random shit in order to make thousands of people tote around umbrellas that they will never use. In the future, I will be sure to consult you before I leave the house so that I can know what the real weather is going to be.

Sorry for the extended absence. I've been in a bit of a funk lately, and I don't know if this is a cause or a symptom of my writers' block. So in the absence of anything even remotely entertaining to submit, I shall instead put forward a complaint: Toilet paper should be installed with the end hanging from the top of the roll, not the bottom, unless you have a cat, or a small child, or both. Anyone who believes otherwise is a savage.

Here's one of our fun, springtime traditions. Our annual pilgrimage to the Cherry Blossom festival, at the Brooklyn Botanic Garden. Allergies be damned, I wanted SAKE!!!! Let it be known that I paid for this later on with several days of swollen, watery, itchy eyes, and a great deal of wheezing. It was worth it!

So why exactly am I freezing my butt off on the Coney Island boardwalk once again ? I'll tell you why : my sweetie decided to participate in the oh-so-fun Brooklyn Half Marathon . So, being this good soldier that I am, I followed him out the very edge of our fine borough to serve as head cheerleader, documentarian and general support staff. I do have to say that my discomfort was somewhat mitigated by the sight of the massive turnout for this particular race (close to 6000 lunatics in all). I figured that if all these scantily-clad individuals were willing to brave the chill air, it really wansn't my place to complain about my fingers being a little numb. And so, with the blast of the starter's bullhorn, they were off! I proceeded to follow the crowd, on foot, and by train, to cheer on these athletes at various points in the race. And for those of you who would dare sing high praises of the New York City subway system, I am sorry to inform you that the winner of this race m...